Deacons and Deaconesses: Lead Servants within the Church

In every healthy church, there’s a quiet current of compassion running just beneath the surface. You may not always see it. But you feel its effects, perhaps in a hospital visit, a bag of groceries, a listening ear, or a worship service.

That current often flows through the ministry of deacons: men and women set apart to serve the church with wise, attentive, steadfast, and compassionate care.

Their work may not typically involve preaching or spiritual oversight. Even so, it reflects the very heart of Christ, looking after the flock, especially its most vulnerable members.

A Biblical Office Rooted in Mercy and Order

The office of deacon was born in a moment of real tension in the early church. In Acts 6, as the number of disciples increased, a group of widows was unintentionally being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. The apostles, recognizing the importance of both preaching the Word and caring for practical needs, but unable to effectively do both at the same time, appointed seven Spirit-filled individuals to oversee the task. This Spirit-led adaptation ensured that no one was forgotten and that the gospel continued to advance without division (Acts 6:1–7).

Though the term deacon isn’t used in that passage, the pattern is unmistakable: God’s design for the church includes a distinct office of lead servants, focused on meeting tangible needs, protecting unity, and supporting the church’s broader spiritual mission.

Later in Scripture, the office is named (Philippians 1:1), and its qualifications described (1 Timothy 3:8–13). And in Romans 16:1–2, we meet Phoebe, a faithful servant of the church who is called a diakonos—the same word used elsewhere for the deacon office.

Deacon and Deaconess, One Office

At First Free, we affirm that the office of deacon is open to both men and women, consistent with the New Testament witness and our complementarian convictions. This means we recognize both deacons and deaconesses as holding the same biblical office, serving under the authority of the Elder Board to lead in care, compassion, and practical ministry.

We recognize that some faithful believers (no doubt also seeking to submit to Scripture) understand this differently and restrict the office of deacon to men. But we believe the Bible gives clear exegetical warrant for qualified women to serve in this role. In Romans 16:1, Paul commends Phoebe as “a servant (diakonos) of the church at Cenchreae.” The term diakonos is the same word used elsewhere to describe the official office of deacon (e.g., Philippians 1:1; 1 Timothy 3:8, 12). Paul not only uses that term for Phoebe, but urges the Roman church to receive her in the Lord and assist her in whatever she may need—language typically reserved for those functioning in recognized ministry roles (Romans 16:2).

Additionally, in 1 Timothy 3:11, after outlining the qualifications for male deacons, Paul includes a separate list for “the women” (gunaikas). Though some interpret this as referring to deacons’ wives, the structure of the passage and the parallel language used for qualifications suggest that Paul is describing women serving as deacons themselves. Notably, he does not refer to the “wives” of elders earlier in the chapter, and the traits listed like dignity, self-control, and faithfulness, mirror the expectations for all church leaders.

Taken together, these passages suggest that women not only served meaningfully in the early church’s diaconal ministry, but did so in a manner consistent with the office itself. This understanding has been affirmed by many gospel-centered, complementarian churches throughout history and across traditions. Like them, we reserve the office of elder for qualified men (1 Timothy 2:12–3:7), while understanding the diaconate as a distinct, non-governing office of servant leadership—open to men and women alike, and rooted in spiritual maturity, humility, and a heart for Christlike care.

The office of deacon is not about authority, but about service. It reflects the life of Christ Himself, who, as Paul says, “became a servant [diakonos]” for the sake of God’s people (Romans 15:8).

A Ministry of Provision for the Whole Flock

Recognizing the wisdom of this design becomes even more important in practice. In a church of any size, it is impossible—not just impractical—for the pastors or even the elders to visit and care for everyone personally. The needs are too varied, the burdens too many, and the body too large and complex for one group of leaders to carry alone.

That’s why the Spirit, in His wisdom, has given the church a diversity of caregivers: not just elders, but also deacons, and many others who come alongside in the ministry of care, encouragement, and practical service.

The New Testament envisions a church where every member plays a part in building up the body in love (Ephesians 4:16). But within that shared calling, God has graciously appointed humble, Spirit-qualified leaders (specifically, elders and deacons) to help guide, model, and coordinate that work. They serve not to replace the congregation’s ministry, but to strengthen and direct it.

When this happens – i.e., when care is shared across the church family under godly leadership – people are more likely to be known, remembered, and helped. And while no system is perfect and no effort guarantees that every need will be met exactly as we wish, we serve better when the work of care is broadly shared and lovingly led.

The office of deacon, in particular, is the Spirit’s provision to ensure that those who are vulnerable or overlooked by others are never overlooked by the church intentionally. That includes the grieving, the isolated, the struggling, and those whose needs don’t always show on the surface.

In Acts 6, it was the unintentional neglect of widows that led to the creation of this office. In Romans 16, Paul honors Phoebe, a deacon who had become “a patron of many and of myself as well” (Romans 16:2). And in 1 Timothy 5, the call to care for those “truly in need” reflects the compassionate heart of God Himself.

Deacons, then, are not merely helpers. They are God’s appointed caregivers, servant-leaders who extend the mercy of Christ to real people in real moments of need. Their presence helps the whole church reflect the tenderness and justice of our Savior, even in an imperfect world.

What Deacons and Deaconesses Actually Do

This ministry takes many forms, all deeply rooted in presence, compassion, and faithfulness. Under the oversight of the Elder Board, deacons carry out assignments according to their gifts and calling, which may include:

• Preparing for the Lord's Supper and baptism services in ways that promote reverence and welcome
• Coordinating benevolence care for widows, widowers, and others in need (Matthew 25:35–40; James 1:27)
• Helping administer membership processes and welcoming new believers
• Assisting with church-wide hospitality, ushering, and worship service logistics
• Offering practical help and visitation to the sick, elderly, and homebound (Galatians 6:1–2)
• Providing support for congregational meetings and ministry coordination
• Helping the church respond wisely and compassionately in moments of crisis or need

All of this happens quietly, but never insignificantly. The work of deacons often becomes the very means by which the grace of God moves from the pulpit to the pew to the person in pain.

Who Can Serve?

This sacred work requires more than availability; it requires maturity and trust.

The qualifications in 1 Timothy 3:8–13 describe men and women who are:

• Dignified and sincere in speech
• Not greedy or quarrelsome
• Sound in faith and spiritually grounded
• Faithful in their family life and relationships
• Proven over time, not newly converted or untested
• Marked by wisdom, steadiness, and integrity

No elder or deacon is perfect or pretends to be. We are all in process: being shaped, stretched, and sanctified by grace. But those called to serve in these offices should be men and women whose lives reflect a growing pattern of humble maturity, whose character has been tested over time, and whose hearts are teachable, steady, and trustworthy. It is a ministry of trust, one entrusted by the congregation, and ultimately by Christ.

A Ministry That Honors the Whole Person

The office of deacon also reminds us that Christ is Lord over the whole of life, not just its spiritual parts. In a world that often divides the sacred from the secular, the ministry of deacons pushes back against that split. Jesus did not come only to teach and forgive; He came to feed the hungry, heal the sick, touch the leper, and dignify the weak.

His kingdom addresses not just souls, but bodies: meals, tears, shelter, belonging. When deacons serve, they reflect that same incarnational love. They make visible the truth that the gospel speaks into hospital rooms, kitchen tables, utility bills, and lonely places. Their work bears witness to a Savior who cares not just about what we believe, but also about how we are doing.

A Word to the Church

Just as Hebrews 13:17 urges the congregation to honor the leadership of elders, we would do well to honor and encourage those who serve as deacons. Their ministry often happens behind the scenes, but it strengthens everything in front of it.

Deacons and deaconesses relieve burdens, bridge gaps, and keep people from slipping through the cracks. They serve quietly, but they serve powerfully.

Let’s be the kind of church that makes their labor a joy, not a burden (Hebrews 13:17). Let’s thank them, pray for them, and support their ministry, not just with applause, but with partnership.

And if you know someone in the church who already lives this way (humble, steady, dependable, and marked by Christlike character), perhaps God is already shaping them for this role. Maybe He’s shaping you.

A Final Word

In the eyes of the world, the office of deacon may seem small. But in the eyes of Christ, it’s a holy calling, one He Himself embraced. In Romans 15:8, Paul tells us that “Christ became a servant [diakonos]”—which is the very same word used for this office. To be a deacon is to walk in the footsteps of the One who stooped low, served gladly, and gave Himself fully for the good of others.

Jesus said, “Whoever would be great among you must be your servant” (Mark 10:43). That’s what deacons do. And in doing so, they point us back to the One who came not to be served, but to serve—and to give His life for many.

Let’s thank God for this ministry. Let’s support it. And let’s follow its example.

If you'd like to pray for our deacons and deaconesses, here are their names:

Russ Breitinger
Nathaniel Buck
Cindy Beresford
Kevin McNeil, Sr.
Lisa Meilander
Chuck Page
Linda Rothey
Julie Squires

This post is part of an ongoing series designed to deepen our understanding of the biblical roles within Christ’s church. May it stir your prayers, affirm your gratitude, and help us all serve one another in love.